by Janice Bryant Howroyd
Founder and CEO, Act-1 Group
Note: this blog post originally appeared on The Huffington Post
As I completed my thoughts to paper on the consistency of the American spirit for assisting those in need, I had a sense of joy that we Americans have the ‘Good Samaritan’ built into our DNA, even as I continued to be sad for the plight of our Haitian neighbors. That was then…. Today after detraining during this leg of my current business travel, I was driven to my hotel by an elegant and friendly driver. I noticed his accent and asked his nationality. He told me that he is Haitian, and neither of us could avoid discussing the big tragedy. We agreed that Americans have very big hearts. I settled back in my seat, confident that we were joined together with equal passion to assist those living through the aftermath of destruction.
Then, he told me something that shook my soul. Late last night, he received confirmation that his young wife is dead, and that his three children, all under four years of age, are alive. A neighbor confirmed this, and he has been assured that every little limb is intact. (The family home is not.) He believes the fact that they are so little might have helped to save their lives, as they were nimble and small enough to crawl toward sounds of instruction and encouragement.
The American spirit for giving and rebuilding is as strong as ever… Can we care enough to keep this spirit contagious? Did we have a magic formula that helped our country, not just New York, fight forward? Yes, we did … and we do. We have an infrastructure set up in government and, as precarious as it is, an economy that helps us to sustain and rebuild. We always knew we would make it through. How we choose to do so has been the question. It is our American spirit that has rallied us together, even as we’ve argued over how we manage disaster.
When my driver told me of his own personal tragedy, with one sentence, my whole perspective and emotion was changed. Here in front of me, driving me through Newark’s streets, was a man who had just learned the night before that his family is now torn apart. He is here in America for the fourth year of a five year plan he is building on – a new life and a home for his family. He’s been following the rules of immigration, and keeps pictures of his children and wife in a cell phone that he has with him at all times. His previous visits home have been easy because he has been working toward the American dream for him and his family. He told me these things in answer to my questions with no attempt to solicit sympathy. If anything, he was proud and sad … very, very sad.
He answered my question as to how he found the strength to work today, after learning last night of his tragedy. He slowly, very slowly, told me that after phone calls and a lot of prayer, he determined that the harder he worked, the sooner he could get the airfare to bring his three children here with him. My heart was breaking, but I knew he could see me on the back seat of his car, so I tried with tremendous effort to keep my face together, following his example. He needed just three hundred dollars to make this happen…Three hundred American dollars stood between his small children coming to their father.
When we arrived at the hotel, I handed him three hundred and twenty dollars. He quickly pushed the three hundred dollar bills back into my hand, telling me that he could not accept money he had not earned. He was firm that he only told me of his situation in appreciation of my words of comfort and with respect for my questions, but that he was confident that he would have his children with him soon on his own effort. He had already shared with me that every cent he had prior the earthquake had been sent to family members and neighbors to assist immediate needs … When, I wondered, will he be able to get those three beautiful faces he had shown me into his care? What pain, fear and confusion must those children be experiencing? For that matter, what pain, fear and confusion must my driver be experiencing as he drives passenger after passenger to destinations, while his children hang in damaged and huge limbo?
I assured him that he would be helping me to take the money and get his children to him as quickly as possible. As we were having this discussion, the bellman at the hotel came out and shoved some dollar bills into my driver’s hands. He said, “Man, my friends and I want to help ease your burden a little. Please take this and keep your chin up, huh?”
As we walked into the front lobby, the bellman told me that he knows this driver and that whenever he speaks with him, he talks of how close he is to moving his family here to America. Every dream my driver has hinged on bringing his wife and children to this land of promise.
As I sit here now on my hotel bed, attempting to write my own pain and confusion away a little, I wonder so many things. Will my driver (whose name I won’t mention because, somehow, I know that he would want me to respect his privacy) find the strength of the Americans he works with every day once again contagious? Will the three beautiful little faces I saw on his cell phone smile soon into their father’s eyes? Will the neighbors who are caring for them now have homes tomorrow? When will tomorrow come for so many, many Haitians?
Last night, I thought my ode to Haiti was complete in my celebration of our American Spirit. I was proud that as I wrote of the many Americans who give little by little every day to assist so many, I could include myself. Suddenly, I am left re-shocked and re-thinking. How do you help a situation so big and terrible as Haiti is now experiencing? My mother’s answer is to “Do what you can!” One thing is sure: My driver did help me today … far more than I helped him. He personalized Haiti’s tragedy for me beyond anything I had imagined or learned about, in a very simple and quick manner. He then graciously allowed me to do something about it in a very deliberate and meaningful way. He also left me with a burning question that taunts: “How many thousands more Haitians are working here every day, through their pain, valiantly attempting to earn every dollar of wage and coins for tips, to save another life???”
